Thursday, August 23, 2018

The good side of rejection



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Have you ever been rejected? I'm pretty sure you have. Maybe because I believe that in this ball-game-like thing called life, rejection is something we cannot forever dodge. In one way or another, each of us gets to face the strike of it all and endure the traumatizing feeling that comes after. 

Rejection is one of the cruelest things we should all learn how to deal with. I myself had a fair share of experiencing the same. I have been rejected too many times. Way too many, I can no longer count them with both my fingers and toes combined. If it's just my favourite beer, I would've gotten drunk from them already and made me go home walking like a zombie. Well, I couldn't care less. Because while getting rejected is a huge letdown, it's one of the things I don't think I should be ashamed of. How could I be embarrassed about something that taught me life-changing lessons?

Sure the thought of being turned down hurts as hell but, don't you think it's the heaven's way of preparing us to something better? After all, they say unexpected blessings sometimes come in the guise of failures. 

To set the record straight, I'm not saying this because, unlike others, I don't pretend and try hard to spread positivity and stuff. I say it with a sincere look-you-in-the-eye-while-holding-your-hands gesture with a sad song playing in the background as I wait for the director's cue for me to say 'didn't anybody tell you the world is a big school of hard knocks?'. Kidding aside, this is not to discount what you feel. But rather, to try and help you figure things out. 

The misconception that some of us — which I myself is guilty of sometimes — are having is that, we tend to underestimate other people's hang ups that we overlook what's really underneath the surface, making us judge them too quickly and think they come undone. 

When it comes to rejection, there is neither big thing nor small. Hence, the question as to what kind of rejection it has been should be taken out of the equation. Yes, it may come in different shapes and sizes. However, regardless of how it's done, the impact it creates is just the same. How one should feel should not be gauged and justified according to it's kind. Whether it's from a job you've been dreaming to have, a father you've been dying to see, a person you've been courting for years, a partner you've already imagined to have a future with, or even a visa application on your dream destination. It's all the same.

It's never a question of what. It's actually a question of why. Because sometimes, there are things happening to us that we believe we don't deserve. You know, after doing all you that could and giving it your all, you still failed; leaving you asking yourself why didn't you still make the cut? Why were you refused to be seen? Why were you given false hope? Why were you still turned back on? Why were you denied entry? It hurts, yes. And we have no choice but to brave the ache it brings. Maybe it's the reason why the saying 'trouble is a friend' exists. But unless you wouldn't want to move forward, you have to let go and free yourself from such burden.

Sometimes, it's when we get so complacent with what we have, when we become too confident with what we do, when we are drowned with pride and arrogance, that life comes up with an awful reminder by the means of rejection. Probably because it brings us back to the reality that everything we want to have should be paid with hard work. And we wouldn't have a hard work to spend if we didn't save enough energy and courage to use as capital to invest on things that are worth taking the risks. Never mind every hard work you spend, the receipts will give you a different sense of fulfillment after anyway. Needless to say, rejection teaches us something our future selves will thank for later in life. 

All of us are bound to cross the street of rejection at some point in our lives. But it's where the same path of growth coincides, too. We just have to choose which way to go next. What's more is that we're lucky to have a few who we can call family (of which some are actually friends) that makes us — not forget the pain but — give us the courage to accept hard times like that of being rejected as we go along. All we have to do is enjoy the ride with them that we are left with so little time to sulk about the things that hurt. 

For us to grow, we need to get through the hardest of things. And if you ask me if I'll want it changed, though no one has it easy, at the end of the day, I wouldn't wanna have it any other way.

Leaving you a part of a song from the great Alanis:

That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down 
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick 
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

Photo: Saulo Mohana

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Source: Anonymous