Thursday, August 23, 2018

You don't have to figure it all out, and it's okay




Who doesn't want to be sure of what he wants in life in his mid 20s? Nobody, I guess. Because though being happy-go-lucky may sound fun, it isn't always the case when it comes to reality. With bills to pay, long list of family responsibilities plus the desire to make them proud of you one day (not to mention the fear of being left out by friends who are being successful in their endeavor), adulting will indeed make one feel stressed out. Worse, depressed.

It's hard to figure out how we are going to succeed on what we want to do in life. But sometimes, figuring out what we want to do in the first place is even harder.

It's true. Not knowing it — or not being sure about it, at least — confuses us to the core and more often than not, causes us pain. I know. I should know because I've been through the same. I've also witnessed some friends who experienced it.

There was someone younger than me who was, I think, at that time was getting a bit tired already at such a young age about looking for what it is that she wanted to do with her life. This is despite her being a total achiever whose career can skyrocket to the corporate world. She's not your typical millenial who's just after some worldly stuff, and I'm glad I have met someone like her whose outlook in life is totally different from the rest. Graduated as a cum laude from one of the most prominent universities, I asked myself, how can she be so unsure about something that a lot of people think is a very easy thing to find out?

Until we talked about a lot of things.

I then started to understand where she's coming from. She's an old soul whose fulfillment all boils down to how she can touch lives and make an impact. That's what sets apart from people her age. There was one time we were having a conversation. And then suddenly, she asked me, "Alam mo na ba gagawin sa buhay mo?".

I frankly answered her, "Hindi pa".

She then told me, "Oo nga noh? Ayos lang siguro 'to (na hindi ko pa alam ang gusto ko), kasi ikaw nga mas matanda pa sa akin eh (pero hindi mo pa alam gagawin mo)". 

My response was just a laughter. A short but weird laughter. End of convo.

I was moved.

I told myself: this is a girl who has all that she needs to secure a decent, most-coveted, and high-paying job from one of the biggest companies in the country. And yet, she's still having a hard time figuring things out. How come?

Months have passed and it's been a year since we last saw each other. Thankfully, I can now see her enjoying her chosen craft and maybe, she's beginning to figure it all out too.  

In a world where most people get a sense of satisfaction from nothing but material possessions, it's a breath of fresh air to meet someone like her.

Another story that's relevant to hers was a male friend, also younger than me, who is already a professional and has a stable job but suddenly felt lost due to several reasons. Thus, he decided to drop the job and take a different path. Good for him, he's now in pursuit of his new love and I'm happy that perhaps he's also starting to figure it all out, one by one.  

See? We can never really tell.

We can plan all we want but planning can only do so much. Things do get out of hand and there will come a time that we will feel lost and confused. When it happens, it's important to keep in mind that it's a a matter of perfect timing and that, we must keep on going despite of not knowing where we're headed to. Otherwise, we're missing the point of living.

Not knowing everything we want may lead us to a world of confusion, but it's the same way we get to see the place that's full of surprises. And that's how life is.

I've always believed that it's okay to get lost and confused. That's because for me, it leads us to where we should be. It's how we will find ourselves and our true calling. 

Not knowing everything makes us notice how confusing life can be but also, it makes us understand that great things do take time. It's also the same way we will realize life's significance that will soon help us find our very own purpose, little by little. And that, it's alright not to figure it all out all the time because it's what keeps it worth waking up to in every sunrise.

I don't know about you but for me, it's not a 'come-what-may' attitude neither are you simply going with the flow. It's called giving yourself a chance to wait for it's rightful turn to grab what's meant for you.

For now, you may not be as successful compared to the people you know. But, have you ever realized how far you've come? Go look yourself in the mirror and congratulate him for having the courage to continue even if doesn't know where he's going.

Photo: Ashley Knedler

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Source: Anonymous