Kwentong LDR: Gaano nga ba kahirap magkaroon ng asawang seaman? - The Daily Sentry

Kwentong LDR: Gaano nga ba kahirap magkaroon ng asawang seaman?

Photo compiled from Mae Cabale's Facebook
It takes guts to love a seafarer.

In her post that has gone viral, Mae Cabale, a seafarer's partner shared tips, as well as the pros and cons of having a seafarer as a lover, saying that the key is consistency and perseverance.

She first shared that the pros, or the advantages of such are that first, when the seafarers are at home, they stay for 24 hours a day. She claims this is an advantage even if they get to see your every move.

Cabale said that another advantage is the fact that seafarers do not bring work home, they only allot their time on trainings, but their women would not have to see them working on their papers at home.

The gifts from all across the globe are of course, and advantage according to Cabale.

Further, she said that in this kind of set-up, the romance stays young and alive. "Feeling virgin always", she jokingly said, adding that the couples tend to explore more and more when they see each other.

"Family vacations aren’t just a dream and Family Projects can be undertaken without too much wait. (You get it na )" she said.

She added that in this setup, one learns how to communicate more effectively, as such is necessary.

Cabale said that another perk is that one learns to value her spouse more, and so does the other in return. She said that the couples live as if there is no tomorrow.

But there are of course, cons or disadvantages to the relationship.

Cabale said that one con is that these seafarers spend most of their lives at sea and that their partners would have to "face almost everything alone", as the man are constantly away.

Thus she said, that in order to survive this relationship, one need be a strong and independent woman.

Cabale said the nights are sleepless, no kidding, especially when there are storms.

She said that the seafarers would also miss important life events,like when their spouses give birth, or in important milestones in the lives of their children, graduations, birthdays, monthsaries and anniversaries.

Cabale jokingly added that in movie dates and  trips with friends, you won't have a person to fetch you.

"They meet a lot of women esp desperate ones," she added as another disadvantage. She said there are many women who tend to go after these seafarers and would even knock on their doors.

Communication is also a problem she said, as not all ships have wifi available to their employees. Sometimes, there would be no communication for months.

"So gurls and boys, I firmly believe that IT TAKES A LOT OF GUT TO LOVE A SEAFARER. I, thank you," Cabale said.

She then gave tips on what to avoid and consider when the partner is away.

Avoid overthinking. She said that overthinking will drive one crazy, and that one need only relax and not let the assumptions control her/him.

Trust your partner.  She said that only when the partner gives one a reason to leave, shall she/he leave.

Another tip, she said, is to avoid bringing up the past. Once reconciled, the issue should be good as gone.

Cabale said that the partner should also try to understand the sea farer more. Patience is needed, even when it gets hard.

Communicate well, she said. Communication is key. She said that pride will not make the relationship get better, and if there are issues that may be resolved by talking about it, one should.

Cabale said that one should also avoid giving the distant partner any reason to raise suspicion.For instead of getting peace and rest, the partner would have it harder because he/she would overthink.

She also said that it is important that the partners give each other his/her space. "He/She has a thing or two. Respect his/her space". The partner may feel choked she said.

"Be mature enough. Yes, try to think things out of the box in a positive way. Instead of thinking that the partner is with another person, consider that maybe he/she is resting.

It is important that each believes in each other's dreams, to support one another and lift each other up, Cabale said.

“Let's be sensitive enough.” She said it takes two to tango, and that it is not right that only the emotions of one party is being given priority. Partners need to learn to listen.

And lastly, "Love like there is no tomorrow," Cabale said, adding that only time can tell and one should always express his/her love to the partner.

Cabale said she has been in her long distance relationship for five years and yet they still send long messages to each other everyday.

She concluded that for the relationship to work, both partners must exert effort and sacrifice, this applies to seafarer's relationships, as well as other long distance relationships.

"PPS, shared my experience because we all know that we don't always get to have this kind of opportunity," she said.

Read full post below:

Let me share to you my very 1st experience na musaka sa barko. Charot. No hate ha!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Read photo captions.

Warning: Long read ni siya. ❤️

Pros and Cons of being a seafarers partner:

Pros -

1. When they are at home, they are there 24 hours a day. (Syempre, bumabawi. Hahaha! Mej con pud ni siya kay naay 24/7 gasgeg tanaw sa imong lihok hahahaha! You get me? 😂😂😂)

2. They don’t bring work home. But will spend some time on their trainings. (Lain sad magbitbit sila papeles no?)

3. You get gifts from all across the globe. (Kung makanaog sila bes or if naay businesswoman/man musaka sa barko. Ug wla gani lahi ra jud ng uyab/bana nimo hahahaha)

4. Romance stays young and alive. (Kanang feeling virgin always. Hahahahaha!!! You tend to explore more and more everytime magkita mo. Sa mga seryoso lng ni. Sa mga uwagon na seaman lust na ilaha sa ilahang mga babae shet ha! Magka-aids nya mo. Paeta. Hahaha)

5. Family vacations aren’t just a dream and Family Projects can be undertaken without too much wait. (You get it na 😘)

6. Effective Communication becomes a part and parcel of life. (Pag iloveyou jud kaayo mos isat isa bes di jud na problema. Inig di na makigcommunicate kana kay namiga nana hahahaha)

7. You value your spouse more and they value you a lot in turn. (TINUOD JUD NI. AS IF YOU LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!!!! Wala ta kahibaw sa panahon mao ani jud. Pero smga gabinuang diha way ani na mentality oy. Every port report. Every place replace jud na sila. Literal!!!)

Cons -

1. Most of their life is spent at sea. You have to face almost everything alone because they are always away. (Same as smga naay partners abroad. Bawal smga mahihina ang loob bes. STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN ATONG PEG KANUNAY)

2. Sleepless nights. (Kanang gabagyo gani while gabyahe sila. Way undang ampo bes. Tinuod baya ni. Wa char.)

3. Missing important events in our lives. (Naay times manganak ilang misis wala sila, pagpadako sa bata, pag-guide smga bata, graduation, birthdays, monthsaries and anniversaries. Bes, magdate2 kag ikaw-ikaw ra hahahaha mutanaw kag sine ikaw ra or with friends inig wa sya. Way muhatod way musundo. Ana lng. #strongindependentwoman ang peg most of the time 😂)

4. They meet a lot of women esp desperate ones. (Yung tipong pokpok na feeling original. If madala, madala jud bes. Paeta. Manuktok ra ba jud na sila  😂😂😂)

5. Communication. (Bihira lng ang barko nga naay wifi. Tapos if ang satellite na net magloko pa jud grabe grabe grabe jud way halos storya. Some experienced months jud way communication. As for me days lng buyag.)

So gurls and boys, I firmly believe that IT TAKES A LOT OF GUT TO LOVE A SEAFARER. I, thank you 😂✌🏻😘

PS, things to avoid and consider when your partner is away.

1. Avoid overthinking. (Makabuang na bes. Wala nay maayo paingnan. Magbuhat2 baya atong huna2. Relax lng.)

2. Trust your partner. (Arun walay mahay. When its time to walk out, walk out jud dba?)

3. Avoid bringing up the past. (Esp if naa moy history. Nagreconcile naman mo thats it.)

4. Try to understand him/her more. (Taasan ang pasensya bes. I know dili na dali pero I know you could do it.)

5. Communicate well. (Communication is key. Kung naa moy misunderstandings storyahi ninyo ug tarong. Dili magpatas-anay ug ihi. Kung naa moy mga butang nga di jud mo mag-abot storyahi ninyo unsa best solution.)

6. Avoid things nga ikaguol niya while he/she is away. (Imbes magpahuway na bes di nalg sgeg huna-huna asa ka, nakauli na ba ka, nagunsa na kaha ka mga ana gud. Kasi if you were in his shoes diba mabuang sad kag huna2 ba haha 😂)

7. Give each other his/her space. (He/She has a thing or two. Respect his/her space. Makasakal sad baya ng sobraan ramong duha.)

8. Be mature enough. (Yes, try to think things out of the box in a positive way. Instead of thinking ay nangbabae to why not think I guess nagpahuway to tama sad nahuman duty niya. Believe in each others dreams. Support one another. Instead bringing her/him down uplift him/her.)

9. Lets be sensitive enough. (We have to take turns jud sa butang na ani. Dili pwede kita lng pirmi ang hunahunaon. Atong kapakanan lng pirmi pahalagahan. Listen sad sa kapakanan or hinanaing sa imo partner bes.)

10. Love like there is no tomorrow. (Only time can tell lng gyud baya. Express your love sa imo partner like always. It won't hurt man dba? Sa among case, 5yrs nami and we still do that long message thingy everyday. Imagine? Both of us.)


PPS, shared my experience because we all know that we don't always get to have this kind of opportunity. Makahappy kaayo!!! LUCKY ME!!!

Source: Mae Cabale