Nakikitira pa sa Biyenan? Dapat na nga ba Kayong Bumukod Mag-asawa? - The Daily Sentry

Nakikitira pa sa Biyenan? Dapat na nga ba Kayong Bumukod Mag-asawa?

Screengrab from Biyenan movie
Leave and Cleave: The Pros and Cons of Living With The In-laws 

Have you heard about the leave and cleave principle? It is when two married people are bound to leave their respective biological families and build their own. A famous Facebook page, Smart Parenting has asked women about the pros and cons of leave and cleave. Most of the replies from wives draw positive results.

To live or not to live with the parents 

Let’s admit it, we, Filipinos are family-oriented. If not, some of us are living with our parents or in-laws under one roof. But as to what extent is living with the parents do us any good? Most women answered that living with their spouse and kids drive positive results.


We all know that marriage is not a bed of roses. There will be misunderstandings and arguments and you do not want your parents or in-laws to see how you react to a particular problem. Cleaving gives you the freedom to settle problems on your own. To figure things out, to have independence and discover things about yourselves.

You can be anyone 

As a spouse, you do not just get to be the spouse that you have to be, you get to be an electrician, a cook, a helper, and everything you need to be to run your budding family. You can get to choose how you will manage the house, the expenses, and especially how you manage your kids.

Work on your own phase 

With no set of eyes to track you, you have the freedom to work at your own phase. Unlike when you live with your extended family under one roof, there are tendencies that your housemates might notice your ‘under the weather’ moments which will eventually become an issue in the family.

A deeper connection with your spouse 

Without your parents to help you out in all the house chores and decision making, the two of you as life partners will depend on each other. Be a team to work things out. It will deepen your relationship as a couple.

The only cons that are stated by the respondents are that you as a housewife will always be tired as you are the only one who can do the house chores. Having a kid and running home at the same time is not a fancy job after all. Second, you tend to always miss your family, your parents, and siblings who you grew up with.